I've heard a voice from afar... And it's getting louder...
"Continue to write."
It's been more than a year since I've posted my previous post about how my faith was tested and how God was leading me throughout my journey, into Malaysia and around Malaysia.
It has roped me into ministries, and churches across denominations; into political parties, and into governmental institutions. Within a year, I have travelled countless times all around the State, serving and ministering to the youths of churches, families within NGOs, speaking with pastors from different churches and denominations, and making friends with big bosses from around the region.
What started out as a ministry in a small fishing village church has now grown into something that I can never have imagined.
For everything I am currently doing, I have given up almost everything that I used to seek comfort in. That being my job, my church, my cosy little Christian fellowship, my social circle, my fixed salary, and my little aimless dream of wanting to settle down in a simple house with a simple family and a simple job. Almost everything.
Now, God is asking for more.
Within a short period of time, God has demanded that I surrender myself to Him. And each time, I retaliated with a whole lot of excuses not to do what He's told me to. I firmly recall this incident when I was asked by multiple people from different periods of time as to whether or not to migrate, or to settle down in this foreign land, start a God-glorifying business with a business model that God would delight (I understood this as how an Old Testament business would run), and serving the local community by bringing the gospel as a living testimony of Love. Clearly, this must be God and His prompting. The heart-throbbing moment was when I realised that He has prepared everything that I complained to have.
To show how practical our God can be, I'll list out some of the things He's provided me with:
- A business-minded partner (My ex-girlfriend was tremendously weak in this field, but in all honesty, I'm not very good either.)
- A definite place that requires the gospel beyond Singapore (Look where He's led me to...)
- A Spiritual guide. (I now have a church backing me up...! In fact, more than one... And I'm playing a part in the setting up of another.)
- I want to tour. (Look now how much I'm riding now... 32,000KM in a year.)
- I do not want a 9-5. (Meaning: the job now includes, living, eating, breathing, speaking, sharing God's Love and God's Words.)
- I want to deepen my faith in God. (And He's robbed me of everything and I felt - at least most of the time - and I'm hanging onto Him by a thread while tipping my toe on something I found along the way).
Of course, I was greedy and I asked for a few other things like the following:
- I want a girlfriend, and a wife-to-be. (And I got one... The journey here was pretty miraculous).
- I want Spiritual companionship. (And He led me to a group of youths dedicated on extending the Christendom in this region).
- I want to be productive in life. (And my faith was tested after realising that I cannot bring the stress I'm familiar with in Singapore to this region... But I later found out how I could be productive in other ways.)
And you know what? God gave it all.
The only problem? It wasn't as perfect as I've thought it would be.
But then again, what's the definition of "perfect", anyway?
Then I thought, maybe the "life" that God intended wasn't the way how I've always been taught to think it is.
Maybe there's this greater calling that the "elect" may experience, an experience that's beyond the ordinary?
Maybe, just maybe, God was serious when He said He'd provide everything.
Maybe, just maybe, God was serious when He said, "pray believing that you've already gotten it".
Maybe, just maybe, fellowship wasn't just meant to be activities other activities, but a congregation of dedicated believers living, working, breathing, eating, and sharing the gospel.
Maybe, just maybe, God, through His Grace towards me, is teaching me that there's something much greater, infinitely better, than what I initially thought life could give.
Maybe, just maybe,...
No maybe.
God's real.
I am breathing, eating, speaking, thinking, saying, preaching, drinking, living... The Word.
But, I am only a little stubborn in my own ways... Some times.
God forgive me.
Some of the people I've met along this journey.
St. Stephen's Church, Anglican Diocese of Western Malaysia, Yong Peng, Johor.
